Monday, May 23, 2016

My Short Story

For this piece of writing I have focussing on my vocabulary and punctuation. I have been learning to: -
  • use a range of precise vocabulary to communicate meaning (Year ⅞)
  • use all basic punctuation independently and attempt more complex punctuation (eg semicolons, colons, parentheses) (Year 7/8)

The pieces of my writing that are highlighted green are where I have shown my vocabulary and punctuation goal

My Story...Video Games Come to Life

In the morning i got out of bed and got dressed and had some breakfast and played some Five nights at freddy's and then the game was real i was in my room i went to the lounge and Bonnie was there i run back to my room but chica was standing in the doorway i looked back and bonnie was there so i had to run around bonnie i run to the door but it would not open so i tried to unlock it but it isn't locked so i run into the garage and get a baseball bat and smash open the window of mums car and i drive out the garage but the garage was shut so i drive into the garage door and i break through now i'm on the road and then i crash.                                                                                                                                                                                                              

but i wake up in my room i run to the lounge no bonnie only Five Nights at freddy's open at the starting screen so i delete fnaf and suddenly i was midnight even though it was five in the morning about 2 minutes ago so i go to bed i wake up in the night and charmander was standing in the middle of the room i try to touch him but he runs away into the bathroom and he disappeared and then a gengar appeared and he gave me a pokeball with squirtle in it and the and i threw the ball a gengar and and then squirtle started to fight gengar and then gengar fainted my squirtle and gengar gave me an empty pokeball so i threw it at him and caught him and then i walked out to the lounge and i found a charizard it was the charmander that was in the bathroom before but fully evolved so i threw gengar at it he had low HP so i one shot him and then gengar and the pokeball was gone everything was normal.

Then i'm in my room in the morning everything is still normal but then it's midnight i go outside and a black tank looking car went by to fast and then it stopped and then it exploded and then batman come out of the fire dragging the joker by the neck across the ground and started to repeatedly punch him in the face then another batmobile comes and he jumps in and drives away and then harley quinn comes and picks the joker up and drives away and then batman glides down onto the truck and smashes open the window and pulls harley quinn out of the truck and throws her off the truck and then smashes open the truck's back door and then the batwing flies low to the ground behind the truck and then batman throws the joker in and flies away but batman used gas on me to make me unconscious.

And then i wake up back in my room everything is pixelated i go outside and there's a question mark block from mario so i kick it and a star bursts out and in front of the question mark block is mario in rage so i eat the star and punch mario in the face and then when he's on the ground i kick him a lot until he died and then the star wore off and then donkey kong came and picked him up and left then all the pixels were gone.

But it was still not right everything went black then i was in a forest i see a man in green then i noticed that it was link then i hear a nose it came from the darkest part of the forest it was a giant Pac-man and then it ate link and then i found a space ship the same shape as the ghosts from Pac-man it was red so i get in it i was surprised that it worked i poshed a button that said gun and it shot Pac-man and he died and link came out and thanked me for killing Pac-man and i'm back at home lying on the ground.

Then the world's disintegrating into nothing it's white now there's a door i go through the door i'm somewhere but i don't know where someone told me to grab the rope and jump so i jump and swing over the edge to the other side in the pit there's a train coming there's a truck with gold in it so i drive to the edge the trucks rolling slowly i grab the rope and swing over to the other side all the gold and the truck falls into the trains carts i stabe the hook on the rope into the stone and slide down the rope into the train cart at the end so i climb through all the carriages to the one with the gold i snap the train driver's neck i get into the train and take it through the old train track and stop and call victor and sam to get two trucks and collect the gold from the train when they got here the got the gold and left then some guards of a nearby hotel come and see why the train came over here lucky that i threw the train driver out the train after snapping his neck one guard left another come near me he didn't see me because i was hidden in the tall grass so i jump out and snap his neck and everything is normal back at my house. It's night so i thought to myself what other video game will come to life? and then master chief shot me then everything was going black then i was in a completely black room no one was there the a skeleton said my name is sans and you are never going to leave

     GAME OVER!!!!

Monday, May 2, 2016

I can describe the structure of a Short Story

Something I have learned about the structure of short stories is:

After reading some short stories two things I will remember when I write my own short story are to make it short and interisting and ………………….